SerenadeTheAsylum

I don’t see the world the way I think I’m supposed to I don’t think the way I see the rest of the world think. I say the words I think are right, but they always feel wrong to me. I say the wrong things at the wrong times and I can’t tell my left from my right. I dropped a penny on the floor yesterday and when I bent to pick it up I saw everything upside down and I thought it a much better place, to consider that gravity pulls all of us up and we’re pushing on the surface just trying to break free and breathe air that’s not so stale that doesn’t taste so much like other people and feel so much like so

One whole month of self loathe and five more of waiting on burnt out clichés I never got, and I spent every last day promising myself that I understood my own worth,  Being forgotten is all the same  as not being remembered and we know it,  but we will never stop wasting washing ourselves away on  ships without anchors just to try  burying our feet in the sand  for once, So why, god, did I let him convince me that forgiveness in abundance was no half-hearted hamartia when we both know he knew that all i wanted was for someone to say that they would miss me, my throat bloody and raw just from shou

Do you remember two summers ago when I didn’t apologize every day? I was so happy then, like when the weather is nice and you’ve got good music and everything seems alright. I miss that. Do you remember two summers ago when you wanted my heart? I think you would have given the world, just for me to look at you the way you looked at me. I wish I had the world today. I wish you still thought I deserved it. Do you remember two summers ago when I smiled at least once a day? A real show-all-your-teeth-and-not-care-if-they’re-yellow type smile? You’d say that you liked it, that it made me beautiful. And then you’d s

I was cracking my skull wide    open, looking north for an answer and growing flowers like compass roses                                  inside of my lungs, (one night in July when the rain refused to      stop) and   i couldn’t help but notice how that noise, water hitting palms, palms turned up in innocence     (out the upstairs window, reaching like they always are,      reaching for something to wash away the old paint and                                                                              apologies) (re)sounded just like a question, an ivory song                             that sticks to your wrists              

I jammed the paper shredder with dandelion heads after the sun came up this morning, call it photophobia but I just hate it how the days keep passing even when I really need a break, how the skies can be clear even when it’s raining in my head. I guess beauty is a concept but I needed something tangible, so I settled for flowers instead of hearts just this once, who would’ve guessed they don’t go down quite as easy.

i. Fuck you. People say you shouldn’t end things on a bad note because god forbid you regret it later, but I think this was the only truth you ever said to me and i wish I could learn how to mean it right back even when my hands aren’t shaking, then maybe it would finally span the miles between these two lonely islands. I always knew I was a bit too much for most people but I never deserved the words you layed out (or the ones you held back) and it took me far too long to come to terms with that. ii. I give up. I was never much of a quitter because I never really participated in anything, but this game has gone on far too

I swore these stitched up and ripped out and painted over fingernails could never do much more than scratch at empty jack o lantern lids, but inside i was shouting fuck,     (where’s the fire,     where’s the     ghost of a girl?) halloween was 2 months ago and I’m still a fucking monster, my eyes are brand new but I can’t see shit. I swore I’d spit on the difference between old and experienced, that teeth could rot before a girl could talk and these canines were all I had left,     but I didn’t mean they wouldn't     tear you to shreds just to shut you up ‘cause baby, this throat cou

Somebody shut out the lights and burn the letters I never sent, dear I promise I won't feel a thing if you promise you never cared, ‘cause today’s as good as any to pack up and leave without another word. I think it was just the other night that I held out my hands while that storm spat profanities, and i couldn’t find a damn thing to be afraid of. It felt more like the earth was sad than anything to scream secrets at and it reminded me of you. Well, the sky lights up on nights like that and you get to see everything the way it really is for a second or two, one shitty overcast soaking wet girl and when she starts to re

5 in the afternoon, I never thought it was a time for anything interesting but it seems around now is when all the things people do at 2 am     start to make sense. Oh,  what a good kid I was  (am), I always stayed away from addiction    because I learned from the devil that when there’s nothing else to cling to we dig our nails into the most accessible form of ignorance, Didn’t bother with drugs or anything mixed of chemicals really, except the Zoloft that keeps my head attached to my      body and sometimes Ibuprofen when the lights are getting too bright, but it's a shame mother never taught me how good it feels to be

That girl with the fire in her heart, she can’t tell if its cancer of the throat or too many broken heart strings, but she’s setting herself on fire and taking the forest with her; I think she’s chanting about how the embers burn stars into her arms but I forgot my latin stems when she forgot how to love herself and I can’t say how long ago that was; She said she’s so scared of herself or the world or maybe what’s under the bed that she’s scarring up her pretty little body, No, it’s far from beautiful, it’s the bane of my existence, but Oh darling this is your existence and it doesn&rsquo